Time For A Change
This bowl came out of the kiln this morning and the first impression that I had of it is that it feels so *ALIVE*!
The crystals on the outside are bursting upward, the crystals on the inside raining down like a waterfall. ~up~down~movement~life~
I have this amazingly wise and creative friend, Andrea. A while back we were talking about life, change, safety ect. and the conversation has always stuck with me. She said something to the effect of how interesting it is that we humans seek stability and safety while we are living on a planet that is spinning and hurling through space at a breathtaking speed. Doesn’t seem too safe huh?
Every time I get stressed out and worry about things its usually because I have this notion that I need to do something “different, better, more, less” to ensure safety and security for myself. I often feel very unsafe in this world.
The anxiety that causes sends me teetering between over-achieving or over-reaching in a manic race to get enough of whatever it is I think will keep me safe; and some dark nights of the soul when I have convinced myself that I’ll never be safe and I’ll die alone and poor. Ridiculous I know….but these are my demons. My deepest fears. And thank goddess I don’t feel like this often! But in times of change, especially unexpected change I can go there. I’ve been there recently.
Ever since Andrea shared that mental image with me I find myself picturing the small tiny spec that is my human body feet firmly planted on mother Earth whirling and swirling through space and I smile, then laugh. All this time obsessing about safety, imagining that it ALL depends on ME, terrified I will make the wrong decision throwing me into the deep dark abyss. When in fact, I’m not doing anything at all to stay on the solid ground beneath me. I’m not consciously having to remember to breathe, to digest, to pump the blood through my veins. I’m being “Breathed”. God, the universe, spirit, energy….whatever word you want to call it is living in and through me, as me. All that other crap is just ego. But oh how powerful it is.
No matter your view on religion (I’m personally not a fan) or where you fall in the spiritual spectrum: from life is a brutal string of randomness to every single thing that happens to me is planned and known, at some time in your life you will need to make a decision. As Einstein said, “The single most important decision any of us will ever make is whether or not to believe that the universe is friendly.”
The non-duality part of my mind is screaming at me right now but I’m going to type it anyway.
Basically what Einstein is saying is you have to choose between love and fear.
Well…come to think of it I don’t have to give up my non-dualistic mind to say that because fear is a lie. All there is is love, our minds can either believe it or not. When we don’t…we are driven by and controlled by fear, ego, pride, self-loathing and anxiety. We are living a nightmare. Waking up from that nightmare and helping others do the same is our life’s work. I believe it is why we are here.
So here I am.
In the midst of unexpected and honestly unwelcome change. Reminding myself and anyone out there reading this that I am not…you are not…what we do or have. We are not our jobs, our titles, our accomplishments, our awards. We are not how we feel or what others think of us (especially true when the world thinks we are amazing and we shit rainbows). All of that is just an illusion a focus the ego clings to as it’s lifeblood.
What we really are is the Face of God.
And I choose to believe that the universe is friendly, and that this unexpected and scary change in my life, this thing that I have falsely chosen to think threatens my safety and security….well it has simply made me available.
I don’t pretend to know how it’s all going to work out and the praying for and asking for something other than is just activates scarcity and fear. Deconstructing it and examining every moment of the last year searching for a mistake or something I could have done better, differently, more or less of……well it’s insane and depressing. It also assumes that what has happened is bad, wrong, not supposed to have happened. And well, I don’t know if any of that is true and most likely it isn’t. So I am just going to keep showing up. Doing what activates joy, kindness, love and compassion in my heart. The right path will open up and I will know it by the mutual activation of joy kindness, love and compassion. Like attracts like and well….here we go!